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The dream bike quiver

By Bruce Lin


Dream bike quiverI’m waiting for my next lotto ticket to pay off or for a long-lost uncle to leave me his fortune. Until then, I can’t fully live by the mantra of N+1. But why not plan ahead while I wait for riches?

I've picked out a baker’s dozen of bikes from The Pro’s Closet to form my ultimate dream bike quiver.


Climbing road bike

Specialized s-works aethos2021 Specialized S-Works Aethos - $12,478.99

I’ve been trying to lose weight, but until I miraculously return to my high school physique, I can rely on this 13lbs 10oz Aethos to be my crutch on the steepest climbs.

Aero road bike

Cervelo S52019 Cervelo S5 - $9,119.99

Aero is everything, right? With a slippery S5, my riding partners won’t stand a chance when I do my best Wout van Aert impression and win a sprint finish or crush a breakaway.

Endurance road bike

Canyon Endurace CF SLX2020 Canyon Endurace CF SLX Disc 9.0 - $7,747.99

Race bikes are great fun but I also need a comfy endurance bike like this Endurace to keep my backside happy on all of the double-centuries I’ll surely ride in the future.


Gravel bike

Open U.P.Open U.P. - $5,718.99

When gravel riding started taking over cycling, the beautiful Open U.P. was the first bike I lusted over thanks to a combination of clean lines and bold paint. Someday, I hope to own one for real.

Sendy gravel bike

Evil Chamois HagarEvil Chamois Hagar - $4,618.99

Just look at how absurdly long and slack this Chamois Hagar is. I don’t know why I want to try it but it’s just too weird and cool to resist.


XC mountain bike

Trek Supercaliber 9.82020 Trek Supercaliber 9.8 - $4,999.99

With age comes injuries. Because of a disintegrating knee, my days of racing hardtails are over. Fortunately, the Supercaliber combines hardtail efficiency with a bit of extra squish.

Trail mountain bike

Revel Rascal2021 Revel Rascal - $7,590.99

A mid-travel trail bike will be the mountain bike I ride most so it’s got to shred and stand out from the crowd. The flashy orange Rascal hits all the right notes.

Enduro mountain bike

Orbea Rallon M-LTD2020 Orbea Rallon M-Ltd - $7,103.99

Plush coil shocks are the secret to going downhill at ludicrous speeds, or so I tell myself. This Rallon has a Fox DHX2 and 170/160m of travel so I can send massive jumps and drops without fear.


Fat bike

Salsa Beargrease SUS2016 Salsa Beargrease SUS - $2,648.99

I’ve created the perfect indoor trainer set-up for snowy winter days, but with a Beargrease fat bike I can actually venture outside while everyone else is stuck riding in the virtual world.


Recovery day e-bike

Santa Cruz Heckler CC e Bike2021 Santa Cruz Heckler CC - $9,358.99

I love electric mountain bikes because they’re fun and they let you work on your descending skills and get in more laps. The Heckler is the perfect recovery ride tool.


Bar bike

Rodeo Labs Flaanimal 4.02019 Rodeo Labs Flaanimal 4.0 - $3,253.99

I’d rather not drive to get my 7-Eleven hot dogs or visit the local bars. That’s where this steel singlespeed Flaanimal comes in. I can neglect it, lock it up outside, and relive my glory days riding fixies in college.

Triathlon bike… wait, really?

Dimond Marquise tri bike2017 Dimond Marquise - $4,723.99

I know what you’re thinking, “Bruce, you can barely doggy paddle.” Sure I won’t be first out of the water, but with this wild Marquise tri bike I can make up time on all the age-groupers in the bike leg.


Just because bike

Cannondale Treadwell Neo EQ2020 Cannondale Treadwell Neo EQ - $2,171.99

This bike is more for my cat than me. I saw the Treadwell’s basket and immediately thought my cute li’l Sebastian could lounge there and get some wind in his fur on our weekly trips to the farmer’s market.

Added up, the total cost for this bike quiver is $81,537.87. With that sort of money I could remodel my entire house or send my son to college. Oh well, I suppose that’s why it’s a dream bike quiver. Anyway, I'm off to buy some Powerball tickets.

What do you think? Does my ultimate dream quiver have too many bikes or too few? What’s missing? A DH bike? A cyclocross bike? What would your dream bike quiver look like? Let me know in the comments!

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  • Need a Raleigh Chopper and Burley tandem and adult 26" BMX and a fixie and a track bike and a….

    Gene on

  • Nice selection other than the Aethos. I had one for 4 days before it self destructed on my roof rack.

    Michael on

  • Owning a bunch of nice bikes isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Costs a fortune and by the time you get a few the way you like them they are obsolete. Even with a large salary you can impoverish yourself for years with this type of thinking.

    Todd on

  • Good quiver, I do think it’s missing a DH bike to really be complete. My (current) quiver:
    Race bike (BMC Teammachine SLR01)
    Aero bike, set up for Tri/TT (CKT 368)
    Road bike for hauling around kids in a trailer (Jamis Ventura Comp)
    Gravel bike 700C/650B (SBC 6061 All-Road)
    Trail bike (Specialized Stumpjumper ST)
    DH bike (Norco Aurum)
    Dutch bike (Schwinn something-or-other)
    Single speed flat bar bike (SBC Core-Line, Notorious B.I.G. collab)

    I’d like to add a longer travel trail/enduro bike to round out the MTB side of things, maybe a Specialized Status or Kona Process X, definitely thinking mullet.

    I sometimes regret selling my XC hardtail but generally my gravel bike can do 90% of what that bike could, when it has 650Bs with 2.2s on.

    And I definitely see an e-bike (or two) in my not-so-distant future . . .


    Nate on

  • Great quiver but you need a retro Sting Ray. We all had them when we learned to ride.

    K. L. VanAllen on

  • The most obvious snub was a steel frame hardtail… I’ve seen a couple Chromag’s on the site lately, egregious miss! :) Fun read!

    Nick Allik on

  • More e-bikes, a beach cruiser, a fixie, and a forever Ti bike!

    Ted H on

  • While you are at it, why not at least one vintage ride?… Gios Torino, Bianchi Superleggera, or Basso Astra?… keep dream’in!

    Daniel Riordan on

  • You literally put a quiver-killer bike in your bike quiver.

    James on

  • Hi, I love that s works..
    go for it

    Paul Cohen on

  • Sweet quiver… but missing the Merlin Newsboy.

    Steve kim on

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